Mrs Jane Grange is the Nilkawtian Defence Minister, an avid coffee consumer, and the wife of Doctor Henley Grange, the Nilkawtian Foreign Minister.
Mrs Grange was formerly the manager of a very
large Australian abattoir. She is the current heir to a vast Australian
cattle, sheep, camel, goat, crocodile, asylum seeker and wine exporting
business. She is a sharp shooter, a sharp dresser and a sharp talker.
Mrs Grange is also a noted mining industry expert.
In her spare time, Mrs Grange enjoys adding to her already large collection of stolen songlines. As a part-time rock vocalist in Australian hotels, national
parks and mining locations, Mrs Grange has been known to attack notes and complaints quite severely.
Regardless of what she happens to be wearing, and where she happens to be
in the world, Mrs Grange insists that she takes her duties as
Nilkawt's Defence Minister very seriously indeed. She insists on being called Mrs rather than Ms, mainly due to the fact that the latter reminds her too much of mosquitoes. In all circumstances relating to religious matters, Mrs Grange insists on being referred to as Mr Grange or Great Goddess.
Recent investigations by an Australian citizen-journalist have
required Mrs Grange to lower her profile, her hemline and the heels of
her shoes. However, she refuses to compromise on her neckline and
Mrs Grange never co-operates with television and radio
journalists with line in the titles of their broadcasts. Nor will
Mrs Grange accept invitations to be interviewed by apologists for misogynists and other
It is no secret to the Nilkawtians that Doctor and Mrs Grange have
been seen in public together, or even separately, in the past few months. There has been no indication from the couple that they have officially separated.
There has, however, been
some speculation that Mrs Grange is an undercover, belligerent double
agent in the Abbott War on the Arts and Atmosphere. The Government of Nilkawt refuses
to acknowledge, confirm or deny such gossip. All further requests for
information on this subject should be referred to the Australian Commonwealth Attorney-General or someone associated with his minor department.