Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Local Government

Nilkawt has an extensive and sophisticated system of local government, which is just as well really. Administration is divided between the seven counties, as the principal districts of Nilkawt are known.

Local government in Nilkawt is where the people usually swear their allegiance to uphold all sorts of highly enlightened democratic principles, at least if they are enlightened themselves and never swear anywhere in a vulgar manner.

The Nilkawtians regularly celebrate the fact that Nilkawt is an elective constitutional monarchy.  They also find cause for celebration in the fact that a new Nilkawtian cabinet is appointed constitutionally at least every two years, through highly detailed procedures, most of which are the responsibility of an electoral college.

The Nilkawtian Electoral College consists of all the sitting or standing cabinet ministers, none of whom are eligible to sit or stand for any government position ever again at the end of their single term of office, even at the local level.  All ministerial positions in Nilkawt are held by members of the cabinet.

It is very fortunate, therefore, that each Nilkawtian county has its own local government structures and institutions.  These act independently on most matters on most occasions.

The County of State is the primary county, mainly due to the fact that Twaklinton, the capital city of Nilkawt, is situated there, as is the royal palace.  The other six counties are of secondary importance but of equal status, regardless of the qualities of the persons inhabiting them.  Those counties, in alphabetical order, are Austrooliana, Backoutshire, Cupateeunkaique, Dada, Elegantshire and Foolya.

The chief officer of each county is known as an earl or countess.  The position is only an honorary one and has no apparent duties attached to it, except for a presumption that the holder will at least provide temporary or permanent leadership upon assumption to the position.

Each chief officer is usually appointed by the head of state for a seven year term.  Candidates are selected from vast quantities of ethereal non-Nilkawtians.  This is in order to ensure holders of such exalted positions remain above politics, or at least above Nilkawtian politics. 

Most other governmental duties at the local level are performed by not-so-local public servants.  Those persons are appointed to the Roster of Competency for all the local areas, other than the ones they usually inhabit.  Inclusion on the roster is held for life, subject to reasonable limitations and absolute loyalty to the Nilkawtian Constitution.

The most competent public servants are highly valued and highly respected members of Nilkawtian society.  The least competent and/or most abusive ones are usually dismissed from their positions quite quickly to ensure efficiency and pleasantness can be maintained to the highest possible standard.

Complaints about the running of counties and government facilities are often the main topics of conversation, discussion and debate in the Parliament of Nilkawt.  Such topics are banned from discussion in the Government of Nilkawt.

Dismissals of incompetent or abusive public servants, at least at the local level, are performed regularly in accordance with the procedures implemented by the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught, after which refreshments are served.  Dismissal of incompetent or abusive members of parliaments and governments are performed even more regularly, hence Nilkawt has the highest standard of governance in the world.