Monday, 18 August 2014

Minister for Training

Although there is no-one supervising the Departments for Enlightenment, or Health or Education in Nilkawt at present, it is very fortunate indeed that there is a Ministry for Training.  Most persons employed by that ministry, and all other ministries in Nilkawt, are currently trainees themselves.

The Minister for Training, Professor Elbertina  Marshmallow, supervises the curriculum offered by the Nilkawtian Beneficence Society (NBS).  The NBS is responsible for providing guidance to anyone wishing to train anyone to do anything.  It currently has a monopoly regarding such pursuits.

In the view of the Minister, most training, in most parts of the world, is not particularly beneficial to anyone.  In fact, she believes such training is usually detrimental both to the trainee and to unsuspecting members of the public, particularly those wishing to receive the excellent alleviation of their needs.

Professor Marshmallow believes everyone in Nilkawt should be in training for something beneficial to humanity during every waking hour.  The Constitution of Nilkawt even states that all Nilkawtians are required to obtain a basic standard of usefulness before becoming full citizens.  At present, 78.62% of Nilkawtians are trainee novice citizens.

Fortunately, the training towards full citizenship currently includes matters such as health, hygiene, nutrition, first aid, culinary excellence, etiquette, safety, budgeting, elocution, basic home maintenance, organic gardening, energy efficiency, water management, hospitality, advanced psychology, history of art, English language proficiency in both its written and spoken forms, and a few rudimentary singing lessons.  Unfortunately, as most Nilkawtians are still in training, as are most non-Nilkawtian residents of Nilkawt, and due to the fact that many persons fail to turn up for the tutorials, full citizens of Nilkawt spend most of their time re-doing work incorrectly done by others.