Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Minister for Useful Employment

There are only two types of employment within Nilkawt, one of which is generated by the Ministry of Useful Employment and the other type is not.  Anyone unable to find work without the assistance of the ministry is required to apply for work through the ministry itself.

In view of this, there is never any unemployment in Nilkawt.  Nor are there any pensions or pensioners amongst the citizenry, except in exceptional circumstances.  Anyone unable to work in other available and unavailable occupations due to illness, frailty, disability, injury or general incompetence will immediately be employed through the Ministry of Useful Employment, usually as a public medical research assistant.

Anyone working as a public medical research assistant is provided with free accommodation, free food and a generous general allowance for additional personal expenses. Such persons are also usually eligible for free training, free transport and free health care, in all their varieties.

The current Minister for Useful Employment, Doctor Hester Proctor, believes everyone over the age of three years, eight months and two days should be usefully employed for no less than six hours each day and no more than ten hours, every day of the week, whenever commuting is not involved.  Doctor Proctor's extensive international research reveals this to be healthy for most persons in most societies, at least if they are mainly employed as public medical research assistants.

Doctor Proctor believes all forms of commuting to be very unhealthy, particularly for journeys lasting more than eight minutes.  Therefore, most people in Nilkawt are required to live within eight minutes of their usual place of work.

In addition, as it is rarely possible to become a citizen of Nilkawt before the age of 42, and all children under the age of 28 years are strictly forbidden from entering Nilkawtian territory, there is plenty of work available in Nilkawt for mature adults, both inside and outside government services.

Being a public medical research assistant is the most prestigious occupation in Nilkawt, though persons employed in that capacity rarely have any privacy.  Such workers often rise to celebrity status as their every action and statement is recorded and subsequently reported through the Nilkawtian media.