Monday, 16 March 2015

Levels of Government

It is not yet known how many official levels of government actually exist in Nilkawt.  It is known, at least officially, that Nilkawt is a parliamentary democracy headed by a constitutional monarch.

Nilkawt is not formally a federation as it is relatively small.  It has the world's most excellent structures of local government, which is why you will rarely hear about Nilkawt in the usual news media.

Unlike the selfishness and greed encouraged by other governments around the world, there are strict constitutional limitations on the powers of the Nilkawtian state.  Most states are in a mess because they encourage abusiveness at all levels of society.  It is why Nilkawt is so different from anywhere else.

In Nilkawt, there is no exploitation of anyone.  Older people are respected.  No-one intrudes into the lives of others.  Gossip is frowned upon.  Support services are fair and efficient.  Pushy sales tactics are strictly forbidden.  Taxes are always paid on time and in full.

Most areas of Nilkawt are clean and tidy, with an indescribable charm.  Meddling in the beauty and heritage of Nilkawt is a serious criminal offence.  Protection of environments is made possible by an accountable network of supervisory institutions.

Of course, there is excellent training in Nilkawt for any citizen or visitor wishing to understand all aspects of Nilkawtian society and government.  Students thereby learn to separate essentials from triviality.  They learn to listen attentively and remember important facts.  Those failing to do so receive sensitive civic remedial assistance.

Ethics is highly regarded in Nilkawt.  It is one of the most common topics of conversation.  Transgressions are dealt with quickly, fairly and effectively.

People in Nilkawt are given the time and space in which to ensure their lives are in balance.  Their many responsibilities in life are acknowledged and respected by their employers.

Nilkawtians are never made to feel guilty about taking time off work for health appointments or to attend important public meetings on matters of concern to them.  There is flexibility in every form of employment.  There is no unemployment or underemployment in Nilkawt.

Everyone in Nilkawt participates affectionately in their local government institutions.  They often do so with the assistance of remarkably competent, conscientious staff.  Everyone also has the opportunity to participate in parliament, directly and indirectly. 

There are no parliamentary secretaries in Nilkawt, mainly because the parliament and the government are completely separate entities.  This assists people to avoid confusion.  It encourages calmness in society.  It enables relationships between people to be very pleasant indeed.  And most of the sensitive, civic remedial assistance, for those in need, is supplied through the central government, in the form of appointments to cabinet positions.

To ensure equality and democracy in Nilkawt's government can be maintained and sustained, all ministers have equal status.  They are, therefore, all members of the cabinet, except for the prime minister.  Even empty chairs have equal status with filled ones around the ministerial table when no ministers can be found to sit in them.

Some of the most incompetent cabinet members have been known to fill the cabinet rather than a chair.  The cabinet, after which the Nilkawtian Cabinet is named, is mainly supplied for decorative purposes.

The most momentous news of the moment is that the Nilkawtian ambassador to the digital sphere has just received a list of all the new Nilkawtian cabinet appointees.  It is not yet known, either officially or unofficially, which level of government, if any, the cabinet is truly meant to serve.

As in many other societies, the Nilkawtian cabinet often makes the most disruptive and incompetent contributions to governance.  The embassy staff, none of whom have ever been cabinet ministers, attempt to remain diplomatic at all times.  This can sometimes prove very difficult indeed in practice.

The staff of this embassy are obviously familiar with the biographies and careers of all former and serving cabinet members.  They therefore know that being satirical can often be the only way to maintain sanity.

It is not appropriate for the embassy staff to publish the names of the new cabinet members today.  They are not yet sure if the list is a joke.  Even the list of outgoing ministers is something of a joke:

List of Outgoing Ministers

Foreign Minister

Defence Minister

Environment Minister

Minister for Energy, Upkeep and Equal Opportunities

Enlightenment Minister *

Minister for Immigration and Broader Inspection

Minister for Courtesy and Moral Philosophy

Minister for Health *

Minister for Education *

Minister for Arts and Sciences

Minister for Lawnless Order

Minister for Brilliance

Minister for Housing *

Finance Minister *

Minister for Commerce *

Minister for Natural Resources *

Minister for Tolerance

Minister for Pleasant Weather

Minister for Agriculture

Industry Minister *

Minister for Government Business *

Minister for Government Service *

Minister for Creativity, Innovation and Enterprise *

Minister for Prosperity

Minister for Training

Minister for Useful Employment

Minister of Communications

* Indicates that no suitable candidates could be located to fill the previous cabinet positions and sit in the respective chairs.