Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade

In keeping with the condensed version of a new cabinet, which the previous incumbents appear to have provided on behalf of the Nilkawtian people as a strange sort of surprise, the ambassador for this digital embassy is not yet sure whether the staff here should be pleased to announce that the former ministry responsible for the processing of visa applications no longer exists.  This does not necessarily mean that the backlog of applications for visas will disappear, or that the Nilkawtian border guards will all soon receive redundancy notices.

One of the main complaints about and by the previous cabinet related to the fact that many important government activities were without adequate supervision.  The former Minister for Immigration and Broader Inspection did her best to ensure her portfolio could be peacefully pursued.  The former Minister for Pleasant Weather did her best to cheer everyone up and follow the requirements of her duties.  Yet the long-term outlook for both ministerial portfolios has been dismal for a very long time.

In view of the above, and with the benefit of information provided by Mrs Jocasta Polo, the great aunt of the former Minister for Arts and Sciences, through the auspices of the Humour Rights Commission, all the necessary statistics have been located in the shrubbery beyond the herb patch, behind the potting shed in the grounds of the former royal palace.

Mrs Polo is one of Nilkawt's most senior public health inspectors. She found the documents while making her way to the bottom of the garden to investigate an unpleasant smell in that vicinity, in the company of a suitably qualified plumber.  As a consequence of such discoveries, the new ministry will be able to provide more detailed assessments of the natural limitations of Nilkawt, the carrying capacity of the land and sewerage system, as well as the most suitable management of all sorts of resources.

While the new Ministry for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments will certainly require the services of public health inspectors for the foreseeable future, the new Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade, Doctor Carrie Inca-Passitti, will be required to ensure excellent planning is pursued to prevent overcrowding, pollution and the destruction of valuable items.

By taking on the portfolio duties of the former Minister for Immigration and Broader Inspection, as well as those of the former Minister for Pleasant Weather, and working in close co-operation with her cabinet colleagues, Doctor Inca-Passitti will hopefully complete her term of office in remarkably good health.  No-one would wish her to become incapacitated by an excessively arduous workload.

Doctor Inca-Passitti will probably work especially closely with the new Minister for Housing.  In addition, she will, of necessity, be expected to work harmoniously with the new Minister for Science, Arts and Enlightenment and the new Minister for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments.

Additional duties of the new Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade will include matters of finance, trade, commerce, industry, natural resources, creativity, innovation and enterprise.  These will require careful planning in association with the new Minister for Brilliance, Prosperity and Pleasant Foreign Relations, as well as the new Minister for Education, Training and Interpersonal Niceties.

It is expected, therefore, that Doctor Inca-Passitti will supervise all government business and all government services, through the delegated channels of various commissions.  The Humour Rights Commissioner has, apparently, already been consulted, as has the Tourism Commissioner.

The Independent Commissioners Against Corruption will certainly be kept busy.   The current Trade and Investment Commissioner will certainly provide valuable expertise, especially as she is now also the new Minister for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments.

In her former career, Doctor Inca-Passitti was a trade and commodities financier at the Bank of Nilkawt. She is currently married to one of the Nilkawtian Independent Commissioners for Free and Fair Elections.  She has, however, been married twice before.  Both of her former husbands happen to be the other two Independent Commissioners for Free and Fair Elections.

Doctor Inca-Passitti is looking forward to her new duties, though she has expressed a few concerns already to the Political Reform Commissioner, who is her sister.  As can be seen, Nilkawt does not have a particularly large population, and most Nilkawtians of any social standing are therefore well known to each other.