Just over a year ago, when the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review was first proposed, well-informed members of the global financial media expressed their private concerns, well-off-the-record, that there would, as a consequence, be economic shock waves and wild fluctuations on world stock markets into perpetuity. Those finance journalists continue to mumbled to each other, and even to central bankers and market analysts over expensive dinners, that the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review could potentially lead to long-term, global economic instability. They continue to express concern that the findings of the review will reverberating continuously through anarchic currency markets for decades to come.
The review, of course, began immediately, twelve months or so before today. The head of the review, The Exceedingly Honourable The Marchioness of Passatempo, started her investigation processes by taking golfing lessons. Although she did not make much progress with her golfing, her efforts at least gave her unprecedented access to the world's top financial players.
The marchioness is also a little known Nilkawtian drag king in her spare time. She therefore has the skills with which to break down all sorts of barriers and glass ceilings, even in a golf buggy.
The marchioness know very well indeed that both finance and comedy involve calculated risks, much like sexual encounters and other forms of sport. This is why, in her view, world politics and the global financial system are in such a mess. There has been too much risk, not enough honesty and an obviously lack of empathy.
As all good commissioners and good comedians are well aware, risks require good insurance policies. Good insurance, like all good relationships, will be there when all else fails.
Unfortunately, the lack of public trust in the insurance industry, and the lack of trust in the public by the insurance industry, has much in common with the finance industry more generally. It also has much in common with elitist, authoritarian political systems, including the purportedly democratic ones.
The reason finance journalists have been so concerned about the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review is that the paper trails and digital footprints of the Bank of Nilkawt have taken the marchioness in all sorts of surprising and unsurprising directions. The failure of journalists to uncover corporate criminals indicates their incompetence, or their collusion. The marchioness has a large, currently confidential dossier of data on the matter requiring further extrapolation.
Correlations between influential individuals and their personal investments, personal relationships and professional relationships have been identified by the marchioness, through all the offshore and onshore legal firms of the world and not just those lax in their digital security. The marchioness has also followed the financial trails not only of political party members and their financial backers but also of many major and minor officials. It is surprising that the banks, land registries and immigration departments of various societies have not done the same, at least if they wish to have integrity.
Having now ensured that the Nilkawtian financial system has little dependence on the Australian financial system, having ousted the crony capitalists from the former predominant position, the marchioness has now turned her efforts to strengthening the Nilkawtian global currency.
It will probably not be long now before the Nilkawtian breath mark becomes the preferred global reserve currency. This digital embassy itself may soon provide an ISO 4217 currency conversion service.
For anyone with sufficient funds to provide credibility to any sort of foreign exchange trading, all transactions through this embassy will require all conversions to be made through the Nilkawtian breath mark. Advanced tourist bookings, business bookings, educational bookings, medical bookings and conference bookings for prospective visitors to Nilkawt must also be made through this embassy using the Nilkawtian breath mark.
As there are no inflationary or deflationary pressures in Nilkawt itself, there is a fixed exchange rate. That rate is still currently pegged to the Australian dollar though the situation is obviously likely to change quite soon.
Should you wish to understand more about the Nilkawtian breath mark, please refer to the following:
1. Bookings for tours of the royal palace
2. Background information about the central Bank of Nilkawt
3. An introduction to the Treasury of Nilkawt
4. Further information about the Financial Services Review
5. The further industrial development of Nilkawt
6. Official biographical details of the marchioness
7. A brief overview of Nilkawtian state enterprises
Apart from the national Nilkawtian currency, there are the seven currencies of the counties in Nilkawt. These certainly do fluctuate, not only against the breath mark but also against each other.
The County of State, also now known as Twaklinonia, contains the beautifully planned and implemented national capital, Twaklinton, at its centre. The Bank of Nilkawt now has its beautiful headquarters in Twaklinton, too. The county currency of Twaklinonia is the Twaklincom.
The Twaklincom system of payments is used on the public transport network not only in Twaklinonia but throughout Nilkawt. The public transport network itself is currently called the Twaklink.
The Twaklincom system of payments is also used for the public health system throughout Nilkawt. The public health system itself is currently called the Twaklinger.
Twakincom payments are absolutely necessary for the interconnected telecommunications, postal and delivery systems of Nilkawt, in order to maintain their reliability, integrity and security. The highly advanced telecommunications system of Nilkawt is currently known as the Twalinode.
The postal and delivery services of Nilkawt are also connected with the public transport network and are therefore currently referred to as the Twaklinkup.
The other county currencies in Nilkawt, besides the Twaklincom, are currently the Austrooliana bananaroobull, the Backoutshire ovoleefrank, Cupateeunkaique teaspoondoolique, Dada dollarlar, Elegantshire shimmer and Foolya wonsortwyse. County currency trading is mostly conducted in public during weekends and in private during evenings and public holidays.
The breath mark must be used in all transactions between county currencies to ensure stability of the system. Severe penalties are in place to prevent breaches.
The same does not apply for the thousands of community currencies operating in Nilkawt. Even so, all official and unofficial Nilkawtian county and community currencies, including official and unofficial bartering systems, must now be registered with the Nilkawtian Financial Authority. Registration is free of charge though significant fines can apply for non-registered transaction processes.
Private bartering systems within households do not usually need to be registered, except when there are arguments about housework and simple repairs. Private bartering within other organisations will only need to be registered if there would otherwise be workplace unfairness.
It is not yet known if the Nilkawtian breath mark should have ISO 4217 registration beginning with an N or and X. As the most worthy reserve currency in the world, the breath mark is currently pegged to a rare commodity. This ensures its credit line is always clean of all forms of laundering.
The rare commodity, namely clean and beautifully fresh water, is the most precious resource in Nilkawt. Its reserves, known colloquially as the pond, and officially as the pond stirring, are not for selling or for sailing.
The clean water reserves deserve to be kept safe for future Nilkawtians to enjoy, hence they are the true future fund of Nilkawtian society. Those reserves, and society itself, therefore require the support of clean air and a clean currency and a clean political system. The marchioness is doing her best to ensure that occurs. It is always necessary to maintain standards.