Monday, 5 September 2016

Ballot Box

The most useful ballot box for Nilkawtians is situated on the Table in Parliament in the Upper Parlour of Parliament.  That is the ballot box into which, on a daily basis, all citizens of Nilkawt are permitted to place their most urgent and relevant concerns.

All those concerns are required to be neatly written in pencil on otherwise clean pieces of paper.  In the same box, in the same way, Nilkawtians are permitted to place indications of their societal budgetary and administrative requirements.

Three times a day, or even more often if required, three of the Independent Commissioners Against Corruption arrive ceremoniously to empty the box of its contents.  The most senior commissioner of the three unlocks the ballot box.  The other two commissioners then lift the ballot box and turn it upside down.

On the Table in Parliament, next to the usual position of the ballot box, is a large policy basket, into which are tipped all the pieces of paper.  The most senior of the Commissioner against Corruption is then blindfolded by the other two rostered commissioners.

The blindfolded commissioner then becomes known as the selecting commissioner.  The duty of that person is to select the items to be sent to the Select Committee for the Prevention of Corruption.

Once the blindfold is suitably in place over the eyes of the blindfolded, selecting commissioner, the other two commissioners shake the basket vigorously.  When they stop doing so, the selecting commissioner takes one of the pieces of paper out of the basket and waves it in the air.

The piece of paper is then taken from the hand of the selecting commissioner by the next most senior commissioner of the three.  That commissioner is then known as the examining commissioner.

The examining commissioner examines the document to ensure it is clean and neatly written, with no staples, sticky tape or doodles on it.  The piece of paper is additionally examined to ensure it does not contain any personal names or contact details.  Anonymity and privacy is very important in all ballots in a properly enlightened democracy.

In addition, the item is required to be presented in the English language.   It is helpful, therefore, it the item is written in that language.

If the examining commissioner considers the item to be in accordance with all the requirements, it is then handed to the other commissioner, who is then known as the orator.  The orator, who is well versed in public speaking, then announces, with great authority and stage presence, the contents of the document.

All Nilkawtian Independent Commissioners Against Corruption are required to have very good eyesight and hearing.  They are additionally required to have above-average reading skills in the English language.

Nilkawtian citizens without the ability to see will be expected to have their concerns translated into pencil marks from oral dictation or Braille, before the items are placed in the ballot box.  All items on the Table must be in the same, easy-to-read format for the majority of citizens.

If the examining commissioner considers an item selected by the selecting commissional to be unsuitable to be orated by the orator, it is placed in a plain, cardboard folder, ready for immediate processing and storage in the Nilkawtian State Archives.  The folder will then be placed in a large archival box with the label: Tabled in Parliament on followed by the date.

There is usually a large pile of empty cardboard folders in an empty archival box under the Table in Parliament.  This ensures the efficiency of the process.  The folders are regularly replenished as most of the items from the ballot box are usually unsuitable for oratory.