Saturday, 1 April 2017


Although most news from this digital embassy is usually delivered to a global audience of attentive journalists, diplomats, academics and informed citizens at 9am from Monday to Friday on an irregular basis, it is most unusual for any Nilkawtian news to be supplied from here at any time at all on weekends.  Today is an obvious exception.

The ambassador has only just realised that contractual agreements do not apply to the services of automatons.  Contracted arrangements are, however, meant to be applied in relation to currency trading and comedy, regardless of the performance venues used.

The results of a referendum are not meant to provide material for a comedy though some of the suggestions for referendums are obviously comedic in themselves.  The results of a referendum are also deemed to be a contract in Nilkawt.

Automatons are fully occupied in many tasks in Nilkawt itself, particularly in the cell-fee building and in the health care system.  They do not have the capacity to tell jokes or play tricks on people, which is why they are more reliable than most computerised items in the world.

Seeking to ensure things run smoothly always requires accurately informed answers.  The traditional transitional arrangements within any organisation do not usually involve the use of automatons.  The Nilkawtians, however, mainly use automatons when people would otherwise cause chaos. 

The Royal Robots and Noble Automatons in the royal palace in Nilkawt are the responsibility of the senior ladies-in-waiting, namely the Women of the Bedchamber.  They seek to ensure automatons are involved in the improvement of Nilkawt into perpetuity.

Most routine work, whether involving cleaning, answering questions, performing administrative tasks or providing educational and outreach services can easily be supplied by automatons nowadays.  The Outreach Services of the Perpetual Wait are a notable exception.

In Nilkawt itself, all comedy, including bad jokes, must first be approved by the Humour Rights Commissioner.  The most recent former commissioner is currently available here to supply satirical commentary on the subject of comedy and traditions.

The staff in the Office of Electoral Progress in Nilkawt seek to ensure no-one becomes cynical about the possibility of a better world.  Although most governments are a joke, that does not mean entire populations should be treated as ridiculous.  All most people need is a little enlightenment and a little light relief.

All good humourists and satirists, like all reasonably talented stand-up comics, sitting comedians and assorted commissioners, spend much time recording reactions accurately.  Whether there should be any humour involved in a financial services review is a matter for much comic commentary.

Statistics are sometimes unintentionally funny, even when humour rights are not directly expressed in the collection and/or analysis.  Even so, there is little to laugh about when faced with difficulties associated with maintaining healthy natural limitations and sustainable trade.

However, contractual agreements can easily be funny as well as fair.  This particularly applies in relation to the delivery.  Timing is always important in contracts and comedic performances.

Any cultural industry with insufficient comedy is obviously impoverished.  The severity of excessive seriousness undermines mental health considerably.

The science of humour is seriously studied in Nilkawt within the Possibility Institute of Healthy Fun and Laughter (PIHFL).  The institute is associated with the Twaklinton Academy of Science, Technology and Engineering (TASTE).

A reasonably joyful cheerfulness is certainly necessary for morale when considering the obstacles to enlightened economic development.  This is particularly the case for citizen-advocates.

An accountable government is never a joke though there are few of those in the world, even when they win elections.  It is only when they lose or become misplaced that they may become accountable. 

The aforementioned former humour rights commissioner is now employed at the Nilkawtian National Museum of Former Traditions.  The cafeteria there serves many stale jokes to unsuspecting visitors, at no extra cost.

Since the appointment of a new humour rights commissioner, the power and influence of humour in Nilkawt has risen considerably.  The new commissioner is now the leading player in the new Cabinet of Commissioners.

The constitutional basis of comedy and commissioners is likely to be assessed quite soon in the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught, as is the legal status of the court itself.